10 Ways to Befriend Someone Who Speaks A Different Language
The universal language of smiles, gestures, (and a little help from Google Translate)
There’s a universal language that transcends words. The language of hand gestures and enthusiastic facial expressions. Sometimes a smile and friendly eyes will get you farther than Google Translate.
Traveling is a journey stitched together by the kindness of strangers and opportunities to give kindness in return. Whether it was a local offering hospitality and a coffee, a stranger gifting me their friendship, or a fellow traveler exchanging tales, I realized the true adventure is in the connections made along the way. Most of the time, language didn’t matter. Eyes speak louder than words and smiles communicate with the soul.
Traveling has taught me two important things. One, the world is full of kind-hearted people who are genuinely willing to help or spend time with a wandering and curious person. Two, love is best spelled “time.”
When we travel, we become more aware of our place in the beautiful mosaic of humanity. Our senses are heightened to the realization that we too, are part of this mosaic and almost always find a place for ourselves amongst it even when we venture out into the unknown.
Traveling is a journey stitched together by the kindness of strangers and opportunities to give kindness in return.
The tiniest of interactions leave lasting imprints on a traveler’s spirit, especially a solo traveler. Maybe it’s because out there while traveling we aren’t sheltered by our regular creature comforts. Every stranger has the potential to brighten our day or lend us a hand.
One day it was the help of a bus driver in Istanbul who changed his bus’s course just to get me to my destination. I never saw him again but I remember his deed. Or the man who sold me a Turkish carpet and invited me to tea. Another time it was a kind Russian stranger who offered to take my photo in the Hong Kong harbor. We still talk to this day, despite her living in China which makes communication difficult.
The hundreds of interactions with strangers over the course of three months led to many new friendships. Some of them are people I still talk with regularly. Some of them faded after I left their city. Some of them were short interactions meant to last just a little while.
It’s a special feeling, feeling at home in the world no matter where you go. What brings the most joy is looking at the globe which used to be quite empty except for the Americas, and now seeing it covered in little dots of friendships in faraway corners like Arashiyama, Japan, and Uçhisar, Türkiye. Those aren’t just far away places anymore, I feel connected to them because I’ve connected with people who live there.
As much as others can give to us, traveling is also a chance for us to give to others. There were many times where I got the chance to return the kindness to the world. Once it was helping a woman in Istanbul with a bus ticket, another time it was inviting fellow travelers to join me and my rental car for a road trip in Türkiye, and other times it was just accepting a coffee from a local and sharing time with them.
That’s why love is best spelled time. When we give to others and when others give to us, it’s almost always the unspoken act of giving each other the time of day. The few seconds, minutes, hours, or even days.
That’s the measure of good traveling— the interactions with strangers along the way. I choose to believe for the most part people are kind. Time is by far the biggest indicator of kindness. Whether it’s using Google translate to exchange stories with a Turkish Uber driver or to mime your way through a conversation in Japan. Most often it results in smiles and laughter that brightens everyone’s day.
Here are 10 examples of ways I connected with strangers all over the world:
An Uber driver in Turkey showed me the Google Translate feature where you can set two languages so two people can speak and have a conversation. This became key for when I was really stuck in communicating with someone.
Try another language. In Japan, I discovered many people actually spoke Spanish better than English, so I started switching to Spanish.
Mimes, charades, smiles, and laughter go a long way. At a restaurant in a Göreme, Türkiye, I spent a good hour with the 20-year-olds who ran the restaurant and got across to me with charades that they wanted me to take their picture with my camera. We laughed for a good while as they joked around and posed for the camera. We still follow each other on Instagram.
Befriend a bilingual local. In Paris, there was a Buddhist festival at a park and they had a guest speaker about meditation and reiki… but it was all in French. I had decided I’d sit in anyway. At the last minute right before the guest speaker started, a stranger sat next to me who just so happened to speak English and French. She ended up translating the entire workshop for two hours.
Context clues. To the woman at the bus stop in Istanbul who kept trying to give me a fist full of cash and pointing to my Istanbulkart… I finally understood that she didn’t have her card so wanted me to pay for the bus with my card and gave me cash in return. Then she took a selfie of us together on the bus.
Don’t be shy to try. In a pizza restaurant in Cairns, Australia, I noticed they had the Turkish eye hanging on the wall. As I sat there in silence waiting for my pizza I decided to ask the owner if he was Turkish. He said yes and was surprised at how I guessed. Then I started using my basic Turkish words to say hello and thank you. He was so excited at my attempts at Turkish vocabulary that he gave me an extra pizza.
In Paris, I frequented a Swedish cafe. I befriended the barista whose name I learned was Venice. Turns out her English was excellent and she shared her life story of a Swedish mom and a French dad. I came back another day and filmed an interview with her and she then gave me free Swedish cardamom buns and lots of coffee.
Just ask! In a ceramic shop in Kyoto, I met the most wholesome 82-year-old potter and his wife. They spoke zero English so we communicated with smiles and Google Translate. I asked if I could come see him make pottery and he invited me back that afternoon. Not only did I get to see him in action, but he had me sit down and try to mold clay on the wheel!
Connect over coffee. Strolling through a park in Barcelona I was admiring these wild green parakeets and a stranger saw me and told me about the birds. After chatting a bit, he asked if he could buy me breakfast and coffee. After a quick gut check (I was solo after all), I said yes. We had a wonderful time exchanging life stories about a shared love of travel.
Look so silly taking selfies that other people will ask to take a picture for you. That’s how I met my friend Natasha who is from St. Petersburg, Russia, and is studying in China. Talk about a complex life! We ended up getting beers at a 7-Eleven and walking along the humid Hong Kong Harbor for hours.
These examples only scratch the surface. But they go to show that the language of our eyes, smiles, and gestures, (and with help from our translation apps), can go a long way in connecting with others who speak different languages. Most important of all is our attitude and spirit which we carry ourselves and our intentional interactions with others. The time we give one another.
That’s the measure of good traveling— the interactions with strangers along the way.
We meet “strangers “ everyday no matter where we are. So we can approach them in the same manner as we do to those we meet when we travel. Is it because we are more open and relaxed when we are traveling and on vacation? Practice the “vacation “ mindset in our hometowns and every day can be a valuable experience. Thank you 🙏 for your writing and sharing.