Finding Friendship with a Turkish Grandpa During a Storm
Tea, tales, and wise words from a stranger turned friend
By now you already know befriending grandparents while traveling seems to be a common occurrence. I met the Japanese grandparents in Kyoto last year, the Turkish grandparents in Cappadocia, and a conversation with a grandpa in Sydney, Australia. There is something special about bonding with older people and learning from them the wisdom of life. Here’s the latest story of befriending a Turkish grandpa a week ago.
The ferry rocked back and forth along the waves of the choppy Bosphorus. A blanket of dark clouds rolled in from the West and descended upon the Golden Horn. The blue sky transformed into thick thunderclouds except for a tiny patch of sun that shone like a spotlight on Hagia Sophia.
We sat on the roof of the ferry watching the storm growl over the city. We were already on the boat so there was no turning back. All we could do was sit back and watch the show.
A 40-minute ferry ride from Istanbul is a chain of islands called the Prince Islands. A place to breathe fresh air and spend time beneath pine trees and under the shade of bright pink bougainvilleas away from city chaos.
On almost every weekend during the summer, ferries overflowing with people sail to the islands. But on this particular Sunday, the boats were nearly empty. Everyone with common sense stayed home.
Stubborn-headed and determined to catch some good beach time, a friend and I felt adventurous enough to head to the islands anyway. We sat on the roof of the ferry observing the dark sky from afar holding onto the false hope that the sky was blue and sunny on the islands.
But storms always catch up to us.
The sky exploded just as we disembarked from the ship. Umbrellas flapping in the wind were useless as the rain unleashed in full force.
“It’s raining horizontally!” My friend yelled as we ran to seek refuge in the ferry building a few meters away. The inside was much like an airport gate with rows of seats. We decided to wait inside to see if it passed.
I wandered over to the window and watched the raindrops pour onto the Sea of Marmara. But when I returned to find my friend, he was talking to an older man who was sitting by himself.
At first, I thought they were talking in Turkish, but turns out it was English. He seemed like a grandpa Turk with near-perfect English.
There was something about him— maybe his smile or the light in his eyes that made him approachable. The twinkle in his eyes made it seem as if he knew something we didn’t. As if he were a wise seasoned sailor who knew the secrets of the world.
When I asked his name, he introduced himself as Captain Mustafa. A man of the sea.
Captain Mustafa is one of those people whose face lights up when they talk about their greatest joys and passions. The ocean runs in his veins, he said.
With a huge smile, he went on to tell us about the places he sailed to in his youth. Russia, Africa, South America, the Middle East, North America. He shared stories of captaining ships carrying dangerous oil tankers through the Bosphorus.
As he talked, I could tell his mind was traveling back in time. But there was one phrase he kept coming back to again and again.
“Be happy.” He said as he looked at each of us deeply in the eyes.
It wasn’t a stern gaze, but a kind one. His eyes smiled as he repeated it over and over. “Be happy. Be happy.”
We sat there for at least 30 minutes talking as the rain kept pouring down. He told us he was born in Izmir but moved to the islands near Istanbul during school. That it was thanks to his uncle and his teacher who encouraged him to get an education.
After years spent captaining ships at sea, he came back to Burgadaza where he lives with his wife. Turns out he had taken the ferry that morning to another island to go grocery shopping, and got caught in the storm on his way back. He carried a roller backpack which we can imagine was full of groceries.
When the heavy rain turned to a light shower, we walked him home under our umbrellas. On the walk home, he pointed to a cafe and invited us to tea.
We tore open little sugar packets and stirred our scalding hot red-orange tea with little spoons. I love the Turkish tea cups that are hourglass-shaped and see-through. It was such a memorable moment drinking tea with the Captain.
Captain Mustafa told us that every Tuesday he takes the ferry to Kadıköy (a neighborhood in Istanbul) and meets up with his childhood friends. I can just picture a group of Turkish grandpas in their 80s huddled over a table telling stories and drinking tea.
He also said he is enrolled in a sea-fearing course that he attends a couple of times a week. It’s important to keep active.
As an 82-year-old, the Captain seems to show no signs of slowing down. He seems to be one of those people who loves life and who is constantly learning.
He has probably weathered his fair share of storms too. For as the saying goes, a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.
Will you sign my notebook?
When I travel I carry around a small pocket notebook and ask the people I meet along the way to leave a note in it. It can be a short sentence, a drawing, a poem, or anything.
I gave it to the captain and asked if he could sign it. His face immediately lit up with joy as he took the notebook from my hands and started writing.
In the note, he described how grateful that we met. How it was thanks to this storm we started talking in the first place.
The captain of the sea also speaks French, so in the note, he wrote: “Après la pluie le beau temps,” or "After the rain comes good weather.”
“Après la pluie le beau temps”
That’s a nugget of wisdom we can all learn from Captain Mustafa. Remembering that after the storms no matter how strong, we must have faith there will be good weather to come.
He also wrote three times in his note, “I will never forget you.” I think it’s easy to forget that as people we cause ripple effects to others. One small gesture of starting a conversation with someone can be really meaningful. A reminder to engage with the world around us. Not be so sucked into our world of screens, and to just talk with those around us.
Looking back at the moment in the ferry building, there were three kids next to us, all looking at iPads. The adults across from us were all sitting quietly scrolling on their phones. Meanwhile, we made a new friendship and had a meaningful interaction with someone we otherwise wouldn’t have talked with. Captain Mustafa seemed to know the importance of talking with strangers and showed us with his generosity in inviting us to tea.
An hour later, the last drops of rain were falling and the sun was beginning to come out of hiding. We said goodbye to the Captain and watched until he disappeared up the street with his roller backpack of groceries in tow.
A few hours later the sun was shining in full force and while we were at the beach, my friend got a call from the Captain. He was just checking in and saying hello. The next day we both received text messages from the Captain once again expressing his gratitude for us crossing paths.
The people we meet along our journeys always have something to teach us. Some times more meaningful than others, but it’s important to remember to stay open. Life is too short to live entangled in our individual realities. Humans are meant to talk, to interact, to share, to express gratitude and kindness. It can be the cashier at the grocery store, your bunkmate at a hostel, or a Turkish grandpa at a ferry building in the middle of a storm.
As I wrote in a previous article, traveling is a journey stitched together by the kindness of strangers and opportunities to give kindness in return.
Here are other stories about befriending grandparents while traveling and tips for talking to strangers when you don’t know the language:
I love this story so much. It really opened up something in my heart. And I LOVE that you have a notebook for people to leave you a message... like a traveling guest book, but a traveling new-friend book. What a treasure!
Wonderful and uplifting story. A nice reminder as I begin my day. I thank you and Captain Mustafa. His words and wisdom have reached across the world. 🙏for sharing.