Why Solo Travel is the Ultimate Confidence Builder
Lessons from my solo journeys across 17 countries, and shattering the myths about traveling alone.
Why Do We Travel?
We travel, initially, to lose ourselves; and we travel, next, to find ourselves. —Pico Iyer
Travel may seem like a cycle of losing ourselves only to rediscover who we are. But I see it differently. I believe we also travel to shape ourselves— to build our character, to strengthen our perspective, and deepen our understanding of life. The lessons we learn on the road add layers to our values, resilience, and core being. Traveling shapes who we become.
We can take it one step further by focusing on solo travel. There are often misconceptions around the idea of traveling alone— that it means loneliness or heightened risk. Yet my experiences have found the opposite.
Solo traveling has been one of the most unexpected and profound gifts of my life. However, it’s not always obvious at first. It’s looking back that we are able to see the challenges and growth pains we endure usually change us for the better.
First Solo Trip Ever
The very first time I boarded a plane alone, I was 19 and headed to San Francisco, California. I’d never been there before and was going for a conference tied to an internship. It wasn’t even an international trip, but it changed my life in ways I wasn’t expecting. Your first solo trip usually means it’s full of other firsts. This trip I experienced my first Uber ride, first hostel stay (but I had booked a private room because I was nervous about the idea of sharing a dorm room), and I turned my first stranger into a lifelong friend.
The trip planted the first seeds of confidence in me. Not only figuring out logistics like transportation, but also befriending strangers. For example during breakfast at the hostel overlooking views of the Golden Gate and Alcatraz, I started a conversation with the person next to me. Her name was Annabelle, she was French and we became good friends that day. This past summer, nine years after our serendipitous meeting at the hostel, we reunited in Lyon, France when I was solo traveling there. This proves the connections we make while traveling can really stand the test of time.
I leafed back through my journal I’d written as a 19-year-old in November 2015, during my first ever solo trip and found this:
“On the first day, I was very hesitant to approach people. What would we talk about? How do I start the conversation? But as others approached me first, I learned from them. By the end of the week I wanted to talk to everyone and be kinder— to the cashier, to the person next to me on the plane, the person at the hostel lobby, or the person in the hostel bathroom.”
“I learned to treat every day like an adventure and adapt to every situation. Whether it's pausing to sit down and take in the view, feel the breeze on my face, and see the sun setting on the Golden Gate Bridge.”
“I learned to travel by myself and have fun. It's incredible what happens when you leave behind friends and family and just go. Strangers become friends, and by getting out of your comfort zone you do and learn so much more. You gain a bigger perspective on life. You explore more and do extraordinary things you wouldn't normally do.”
“I learned it’s okay to scrap your plans and instead have a 2 hour chat with a stranger next to the bay and talk about life. It's a great feeling when you talk with a stranger and they leave you feeling motivated and appreciated. It might be the most memorable moment of your day and you learn more about them and yourself and the world. Plus, when I arrived I didn’t know anyone. Now I’ve made more than 5 new connections.”
Unexpected Powers of Solo Travel
Little did I know back then that I was planting little seeds of confidence, independence, adaptability, and ability to connect with strangers— skills that would fuel my solo adventures to 17 countries in the years ahead.
In conversation with my friend Logan who quit his job to solo travel for nine months, he shared that a relative suggested he come up with a story explaining the work gap in his resume. But Logan and I agreed: the lessons learned through travel are more resume-boosting than may seem. Traveling isn’t all lounging around sipping cocktails at the beach— It’s about facing challenges, learning to adapt and live in uncertainty, and develop a more worldly perspective.
Solo traveling puts us in situations that sharpen our decision-making and problem-solving skills. We learn to adapt on the fly and communicate despite language barriers. It exposes us to other cultures and ways of life, which helps us build empathy an see humanity through wider lens.
For me, one of the most transformative aspects of solo travel, especially as a solo female traveler, has been building confidence. Before solo traveling I dreaded even talking to the barista at Starbucks. People at school knew me as the shy person mostly invisible blending into the background. But traveling alone helped bring me out of my shell. It proved to me that it’s not only okay to be myself with others, but it will make my experiences a whole lot better.
An example is gaining confidence in my abilities to assess strangers as trustworthy or not, as well as make my own plans. For example in Medellin, Colombia in 2021 I wanted to go paragliding but not by myself. So I got the courage to ask my Uber driver and a stranger I met on the internet to see if they’d take the leap (figuratively and literally) and join me in paragliding. They did! Read that story here.
Sometimes I don’t even recognize myself from the shy introverted person I used to be. Whether spending the night on a stranger’s couch in Amsterdam; getting matching tattoos with a stranger in London; participating in an impromptu speech contest in Paris; treating a stranger to a coffee in Havana, Cuba and talking for 2 hours; giving a presentation at a high school in Perth, Australia; and befriending people on trains, planes, ferries, and even hot air balloons. I’ve lost track of the number of times I catch myself thinking, “Who am I!?”
I’ve learned the universe is always there in the background providing help or pasting a smile on our face, as long as you put in the effort. While the journey can be humbling, the personal growth is unmatched.
Myths Debunked
Solo traveling is lonely. Nope—wrong! In fact, I’ve made more friends when traveling alone than when traveling with friends. When you’re solo, people are more inclined to approach you, and you’re more open to conversations. Plus, having a flexible schedule makes it easier to adapt and join new friends on spontaneous adventures. Traveling alone doesn’t mean you will be by yourself all the time. I actually spend more time with people while traveling than I do when I’m home in Austin. You’ll find no shortage of activities and ways to entertain yourself.
Being by yourself gets boring. Again— not my experience. Spending time with myself has been one of the greatest treasures. Stripped of familiarity, resources, and people who know you— you discover who you are at the core. You observe your mind and thoughts, reactions to challenges, and emotions sparked by awe-inspiring places and connections. For me, extreme exercise is a preferred travel pastime. Like the time I was in Annecy, France by myself and swam 2 miles in the lake and then the next day rode 80KM in the French Alps. Or while in Paris, a new friend made our own challenge to run every single bridge that crossed the Seine (24 of them).
It’s too dangerous. While safety concerns are valid, safety is something we will always face in life. As I’ve learned from personal experiences as well as talking with others who travel alone, the common ground is that solo travelers tend to develop sharper instincts and situational awareness. If your little voice inside tells you not to do something, listen to it. Also by the nature of being alone, we are more in control of our choices and can prioritize safety. With apps like Find My Friends or Strava Beacon, it’s easier to share itineraries and locations with family and trusted friends. Things like staying alert, choosing well-reviewed accommodations, and internet safety — are things that apply to all travelers, not just those going solo. It’s not about being reckless; it’s about preparation, awareness, and confidence. Setting yourself up for incredible personal growth while maximizing safety.
All About the Mindset
All this talk of solo travel doesn’t mean traveling with other people isn’t rewarding. Traveling with companions can be a fantastic way to dip your toes into traveling, especially for those who can’t or really don’t feel comfortable traveling alone. Ultimately, the mindset we bring to any type of travel is what matters most— Are we making time to talk with locals? Are we only seeing the Insta-worthy sights or are we going off the beaten path? Are we being strict with our itineraries or are we leaving room for serendipity? These mindset shifts can enrich not only our travel but also who we experience life in our own cities.
That said, solo travel has a unique way of pushing us into the deep-end, broadening our understanding of the world, and sharpen skills we’ll carry throughout our lifetime.
I truly hope that, if life allows, you get the chance to experience solo travel one day. Even if you feel a bit skeptical or unsure, I encourage you to give it a try. Of course, I recognize that solo travel isn’t possible for everyone—there are real challenges that can make it difficult. But if you have the opportunity, even just once, step outside your comfort zone and see where the journey takes you. You might discover a whole new side of yourself and the world.
Travel Tip: Don’t leave the country without travel insurance. My preferred choice is SafetyWing for comprehensive coverage that gives me peace of mind during every adventure. (I love them so much and their customer service that I’m now an ambassador for them.) Whether traveling solo or with friends, having reliable insurance ensures you're protected wherever you go, so you can focus on enjoying the journey.
Your expansion of Pico Iyer’s words is excellent. Travel opens doors to the world and the doors in ourselves. Travel is growth, and your words are food for thought. As always, thank you Maria.